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confetti cookies
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smitten kitchen | confetti cookies

The rules of cookie math, whether or not you have underlings dictating them to you, are as follows:

Cookies with butter > cookies without butter
Cookies with vanilla bean > cookies with vanilla extract
Larger cookies > smaller cookies
Cookies with fewer words in the title > cookies with more (see: chocolate, butter, Oreos)
Cookies with rainbow sprinkles > cookies with chocolate sprinkles and also all other things, ever

A while back, I shared a picture of a sprinkle-covered leftover cookies from an Italian-American bakery — you know, the kind that seem to be permanently staged in every office kitchen, everywhere — on Instagram asking how people felt about them and received a yield of comments and fervor of opinion usually reserved for political websites. Here, at least, we had some consensus: they’re the best (sprinkles! nostalgia! coooookies!) but mostly the worst (artificially flavored, butter substitutes, gummy sprinkles, usually stale). The resolution was clear: make your own at home with real butter and even better vanilla.